Crikey! It's The Transgenic Hunter!
by Angiosperm
Summary: Chapter 3 is up!!! I can't even think of a summary for this ridiculous drug induced stupor but it's Max/Alec and contains Logan bashing! Hehe! It seemed really funny when i wrote it and it still may be so just read it and tell me what you think!
1. Transgenic Heat Cycles

Authors Note: I got this idea when I woke up one morning- go figure- after a particularly frightening dream involving the Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin and a bulky cameraman... not to mention I was also in the middle of a frightening drug induced stupor but I decided to post it for fun anyway! DRUGS ARE BAD PEOPLE!  
  
  
  
Crikey! It's The Transgenic Hunter!  
  
  
  
"The first rule ladies and gentleman when tracking a transgenic is to always keep a lot of distance between you and the genetically enhanced individual." A blonde man in a brown UPS delivery costume spoke into a camera. Budget hadn't been great since the cancellation of the Crocodile Hunter back in 2008 so we make do with what we can. "And be very, very quiet," he whispered the last sentence and took up a crouching position. Walking forward and looking like a demented crab, he expertly trekked through a throng of people on the Seattle street, who in return looked at him like he was an escaped mental patient.  
  
  
"It's also handy to have one of these available too. I'm a qualified transgeniologist so of course I get the toys but remember, don't try this at home people!" He exclaimed a little over- over excitedly while holding up a thermal scanner. "Right I'll just switch this on and WHOA! We got a hit mates! Looks like an X series, a female- no no- that's definitely a female. Maybe we should switch my modified version onto x-ray vision just to be sure. Yep, that's definitely a female X5. And what a beauty!"  
  
  
All of a sudden a blonde woman appeared by his side, hands on her hips as he studied the screen of the thermal scanner. He was so absorbed with what he was watching he didn't notice her standing there until it was too late. "Owwwwwwwwww!!!! What in the sweet name of wombats was that for?" He cried while clutching his now very sore bal-... sac-... scrot- Nuts, with all the censoring going on ff.net lately I'm not sure what to call them!  
  
  
After a few minutes he gained his composure and returned to his feet. "Now Terri, I told you before, I'm a qualified Transgeniologist now and the x-ray is a necessity of- Owwww! Okay, I'll turn it off, okay my gorgeous little African Rock Python?" She smiled, turned and marched away. He held up the scanner and a look of shock passed his face... well a look of more shock than usual since his face seems permanently stuck in that position- the wind children, remember what your mother told you about the wind changing! "Crikey! She's gone! We better move now and try to catch up with her." He said and scurried away in the direction the transgenic had last been.  
  
  
Max couldn't shake the feeling that she was being followed. Even after trying to evade whoever it was, they remained close by, not too close though, they kept quite a distance away actually. Turning around Max searched the crowd of people for any signs of her pursuers using her enhanced eyesight. Aside for a man in a ridiculous brown uniform with binoculars and a cameraman nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Shrugging she continued walking to her apartment.  
  
  
"Looks like we're in luck. She's taken us to her den. This is where she'll spend the least amount of her day. Let's follow her up!" He shouted and ran as Max walked up the stairs. "Okay, we've just seen her go through that door there and we're going to proceed to follow her into it. This is the dangerous part people. If she has a mate then we're going to be seen as a threat and he may attack, but judging from what I've seen of this female we've been following, I don't think she has one. Fair dinkum, you can just tell from all the aggression her body exudes. Her temperature though is a little higher than it should be so I'm guessing she could be going into heat in the next few hours. It's just amazing!"  
  
  
"Hey OC. Whatcha doin'?" Max asked as she sat down next to her on the couch. Her friend was studying her with a look that said 'I-know-everything-so-don't-even-try'.  
  
"Max, why is there a strange UPS delivery guy here with a cameraman? And why are they hiding behind our kitchen counter?" Max turned around obliviously and then smiled when she spotted them.  
  
  
"I don't know. They must have followed me home. Can we keep 'em Cin'? Pleaaaaaaaaaase????" She pouted even more- if that was possible- than usual.  
  
  
Both Max and Cindy spun around as the man started talking into the camera. "We've found ourselves a domesticated X5 on the brink of her heat period, this is unbelievable!"  
  
  
Max turned back to OC shrugged and smiled. "I have been feeling a little warm today." She said as OC put a hand to her forehead. OC's hand wandered to her cheek to check the temperature there and Max leaned into the touch and began purring. OC rolled her eyes and patted her on the head. Max curled up on the couch, her head in OC's lap as OC continued to stroke her hair.  
  
  
"As you can see, just like a cat, she'll become very affectionate when coming into heat. She'll rub against your leg just like she's doing now!" And sure enough there was Max on her hands and knees on the floor rubbing her face and neck back and forth against OC's leg. "She obviously likes that girl since she is so openly affectionate. She'll become more restless soon though. This is so exciting!"  
  
  
Max rolled onto her back on the floor and began rubbing her back on the floor before rolling and rolling. "This is an obvious reaction to the hormones surging through her body right now. She's probably feeling very cuddly yet somewhat restless, hence the rolling around on the ground. She'll begin calling for a mate soon if she's not let out. Crikey it's incredible! See the way she's assuming a breeding posture with her head and hands near the ground and the rump area held high, that's the position she'll take up while mating. It's a beautiful sight people! If she weren't already domesticated that's definitely one I'd want to stick a dart into and put in my zoo back home!"  
  
  
All of a sudden Max jumped up and began peeling off her jacket and shirt. Cindy shot up and grabbed her hands as they went to the zipper of her way too tight jeans. "Max. What are you doing boo?" OC asked a little flabbergasted by her friends behaviour.  
  
  
"It's hot." Her friend explained as though it were obvious.  
  
  
"Max, there are two very strange lookin people of the three legged variety crouchin behind our kitchen counter with a video camera and you're about to get naked, while you in heat? Why aint you tryin to jump em anyway?"  
  
Max looked confused for a moment. She looked between them and OC and then opened her mouth and shrieked, "Aleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeec!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
  
"She's begun the mating call!" The Transgenic Hunter replied while holding his ears at the shrieking and meowing coming from the X5.  
  
  
Max bolted to the door on hands and knees and began a combination of whining and scratching. OC rolled her eyes as far back into her head as she could, walked straight up to Max and smacked her upside the head. "Ow OC! God, what was that for?" Max asked holding the side of her head the fiery woman had assaulted.  
  
  
"The door knob boo. Turn the freakin door knob and the door will open." OC explained as though talking to a small autistic child. She had her hands on her hips, head cocked to one side with one eye brow raised and her lips set tightly together. She exuded exceptional attitude. Yeah, she was bad! Real bad!  
  
  
Max smiled at her sheepishly and opened the door using the door knob just like OC had told her. "Wow OC, you're like, so smart and stuff!" OC's hand shot out and slammed the door shut again just as Max was about to make her way out. Max looked at her incredulously.  
  
  
"I don't think that's a good idea boo." OC stated.  
  
  
"OC, move away from the door." Max smiled sweetly but her eyes said something different. That's right, Max had an actual expression on her face that didn't resemble a pout. Okay so maybe it did, a little, but still, progress has been made!  
  
  
"This is amazing! The X5 is now becoming defensive and will soon resort to aggression if her need to mate cannot be fulfilled. I'd hate to be in Cindy's shoes right now!"  
  
  
"Will you just shut yo damn hole while I try to talk some sense into my girl?" OC yelled at the Transgenic Hunter who recoiled in fear. OC could be frightening at times.  
  
  
"She's on the move!" He exclaimed as Max blurred out the door. "The speed of these creatures is just incredible!" He shouted as he ran after her.  
  
  
"At least put on a shirt!" OC's voice floated from behind.  
  
  
To the people on the street it would have been quite an amusing sight if it weren't post-pulse Seattle. Seeing a half naked girl running down the street followed by a man in shorts that had no right to be that short and a cameraman followed by a pissed off black chick was a common occurrence. Right?  
  
  
Max rounded corner after corner with feline grace and ability until she finally came to her destination. Looking at the door she fell to her knees and once again began the scratching and calling.  
  
  
Alec came out of the shower- that's right, the SHOWER- dripping wet and wrapped in a small BLUE towel. He immediately noticed something wasn't right, or a little too right he reckoned, as he looked down at the towel. "Down boy!" He ordered his nether region but it didn't listen. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath and then moaned aloud. Pheromones and they were increasing by the second.  
  
  
He spun around as he heard clawing and little whines coming from his door. He approached the door carefully and he recognised her scent before he saw her. He swung the door open and looked down to find Max in only a pair of jeans and a bra, on her knees (damn she spends a lot of time in that position doesn't she) looking up at him with a very feline grin. He mirrored her expression and she threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his towel (like we've never dreamed of doing that exact same thing!).  
  
  
"Wow! It's a male X5! What a beautiful specimen too!" The Transgenic Hunter had caught up using his thermal scanner and was now watching in awe. "I'm in awe folks!"   
  
  
OC had given up her chase after bumping into a decidedly fine honey on the way. Everyone had their weaknesses.  
  
  
Alec pulled Max up and swept her in a bruising kiss as he inched his way back into the apartment, Max attached to him like a horny leech.  
  
  
"Let's go mates! This is something I can't wait to get on camera!" The Transgenic Hunter declared as he and his friend followed them into Alec's apartment. "This is gonna top my daughters birth tape, I just know it!" About two seconds later two terrified bodies came crashing out of the door just before it was slammed shut with a force that rocked the entire building. Surprisingly the door remained on it's hinges, a little awkwardly, but nevertheless still mostly intact. "I guess we'll just wait out here." One of the bodies spoke in an annoying Australian accent even to Australians (trust me I know, I am one!).  
  
  
After a few hours of listening to what was happening but not being able to see anything the Transgenic Hunter got bored and was just about to leave when he heard the strangest noise. A buzzing, sort of like a fly, or more a whirring. He waited in the shadows to see what was coming and then stilled as he saw one of the most horrific sights he had ever had the displeasure of laying his beady eyes on. And he had seen some horrible things! Getting his tranquilizer gun ready he waited patiently to see what it would do.  
  
  
Logan had been paging Max every five minutes for the last three hours and he still hadn't heard a word from her. Thinking she must be in some sort of trouble and needed his extraordinary intellect and capability to save her from some unknown evil, probably caused by Alec, he went to her apartment to find her.  
  
  
"Cindy." He greeted in his usual monotone. "Is Max here? I've been paging her for hours but she hasn't called."  
  
  
OC looked murderous. "Yeah, I know. Girlfriend left her pager here and the damn thing's been drivin me outta my pretty lil head all day." She said crossing her arms and raising one eyebrow.  
  
  
"Well, do you know where she is?" Logan asked impatiently.  
  
  
A sudden smile crossed her face as she seemed to have figured something out. "Yeah boo, course I do. She's at Alec's. You can find her there." OC said sweetly.  
  
  
"At Alec's?" Logan asked a little shocked at the revelation of Max's whereabouts.  
  
  
"That's right. Girl got herself in a major jam that only he could help her with." OC said by way of explanation.  
  
  
"Oh, I better get over there quickly before Alec messes something up. She may need my help." He said puffing his chest out and leaving.  
  
  
OC closed the door and laughed. "I seriously doubt that fool."  
  
  
When Logan got to Alec's door, due to his amazing abilities, he noticed something wasn't right. As he raised his hand to knock he heard strange noises coming from inside the apartment. It sounded like a struggle and then he heard her voice moaning in pain. Raising his leg he attempted to kick down the door but when his foot connected he succeeded only on dropping himself on his inept ass. Standing up and undeterred he tried again several times with the same results. He stood up again and decided to try a different route, so he turned the knob and the door, which had been hanging on its hinges in the first place, fell right on top of him. Pushing it aside with great effort on his part, he jumped to his feet as if nothing was amiss and charged inside.   
  
  
A few seconds later a high pitched scream could be heard coming from inside which made the Transgenic Hunter cover his ears and the cameraman drop his camera. The wailing stopped suddenly with the sound of a crash and Logan came flying out the door with a thud. The Transgenic Hunter scurried to his side. Pulling out a cattle prod he poked him several times to make sure he was out cold. Satisfied he wasn't going to wake up he turned back to the camera.  
  
  
"Now folks. Never, and I repeat never, try this at home. I'm a trained specialist in all things freaky and I'll tell you what mates, this is the freakiest thing I've ever seen." Pulling on some latex gloves he picked up Logan by the feet and started dragging him down the hallway. "I'm taking it back to the zoo for further studying. This is the first time I've ever been this close to an old, electronicized cyber geek so I'm being especially careful not to let any part of him come into contact with me. I wouldn't want to catch any of it's dorkiness."   
  
  
Throwing Logan's limp body into the back of a UPS truck the Transgenic Hunter turned back to the camera one final time. "Well folks, it's been an amazing adventure today but I gotta go and make a few deliveries before my shift ends. See you next week on an all new episode of the Transgenic Hunter!" 


	2. Dominance and Possession

Authors Note: Hehe, I'm back!!!! Yes Sorrow don't worry, I'm still off my nut! And I hope there's enough room in that padded cell for two because I have a feeling I'll be joining you there soon! Here's another chapter of utter drug induced stupidity! I really need to lay off the green! Hope you like it!  
  
  
Authors Note #2: I noticed that I hadn't put in a disclaimer in the first chapter so I'm not going to now either! Ha! Sue me!  
  
  
Authors Note #3: Damn, these are adding up! I know ELECTRONICIZED is not an actual word. I made it up and I'm keepin it so ha!  
  
  
  
Crikey! It's The Transgenic Hunter!  
  
  
  
Chapter 2  
  
  
  
It had been a week since the Transgenic Hunter had been in Seattle. His escapades had taken him back to Woop Woop, or wherever the hell he came from, to begin an intense examination of the creature he had captured the last time he was there. He shuddered involuntarily at the thought of the being. Some things just didn't have a right to exist and morbidity such as an Old Electronicized Cyber Geek was definitely no exception. After the lengthy study everyone had decided it would be better for all involved to just dump it back where they found it and never speak of it again. The whole experience would be better left forgotten so the Transgenic Hunter volunteered with the help of his wife, cameraman, a small army of Green Berets and a special EMS team on stand by in case they encountered it again or anything as remotely horrific for that matter. Just because he got lucky last time he wasn't taking any chances. Who knew what other freaky things this god forsaken city had.  
  
  
The Transgenic Hunter also figured it would be a great way to up ratings of the show since the last one had been a record of eight viewers and was one of the most talked about episodes in the history of his television career. It even outdid that big screen version of his show that was called a movie he made back in '02 (Did anyone watch that piece of shit? God knows I wasn't wasting $8.50 on it plus popcorn and drinks! That's a packet of cigarettes! Or half a stick! Damn I'm rambling in the middle of my story. Right. Stopping. Now.) Yep, things were definitely looking up for the Transgenic Hunter.  
  
  
He pulled up in his UPS truck in front of the building he had found the geek in, ran to the back and opened the doors. The Green Berets emerged first, guns trained on the inside of the truck. Next were the EMS workers, his cameraman and then finally his wife. That's right, he left his wife in the back of the truck with it! He stepped into the truck and carefully rolled out an upright gurney. Strapped to it was Logan, 'Silence of the Lambs' style. He was in a straight jacket and his face was covered with a mouth guard just like Hannibal Lector in the movie. However, and everyone agreed, they'd rather invite the cannibal over to their house for dinner and present themselves on a platter with an apple in their mouth than keep that thing around any longer.  
  
  
Dragging him up the stairs upside down and backwards, causing his face to hit every step he was trudged up, (let's face it, any improvement's better) Logan screamed like a little girl and thrashed around, which didn't do much considering his current position. For a cyber "genius" the guy was pretty fucking dense!  
  
  
"Right ladies and gentlemen, we're back this week in Seattle due to popular demand! This time around we're releasing this back into it's habitat. Hopefully when it's set free it'll go back to whatever penthouse it crawled out of and stay there. I'd hate to think of this thing roaming the streets again once we've let it go." The Transgenic Hunter placed the gurney in front of Alec's door and using a modified ten foot pole proceeded to unstrap Logan from his confines.  
  
  
When the last strap came undone everyone stood back completely on alert and waited to see what it would do. Logan attempted to stand up but then realised, to his great dismay, that they had removed his exoskeleton during one their humiliating examinations and put it back on backwards. His hands went to the button of his pants and instantaneously he heard a whole helluva lot of guns cocking. Turning his head slowly he noticed the look of panic on everybody's faces as they realised what he was about to do.  
  
  
"Don't even think about it." One of the soldiers ordered, inching his way back slowly, his eyes bugging out and his gun unwavering from the sickening target. "At least not until we're out of sight!" With that he turned and ran, the rest of the crew hot on his heels.  
  
  
"Geeze boys and girls, that was a close call wasn't it?!!!!" The Transgenic Hunter exclaimed while wiping the sweat off his brow once they got outside. "Well, we better get out of here. We've still got a lot of tracking to do and so little time before I have to go back to delivering some very important packages to the Organ Transplant Foundation. Speaking of which, Terri, my lovely little Spitting Cobra, did you remember to put some ice in the coolers?" He asked while wiping imaginary wrinkles out of his UPS uniform.  
  
  
There was a stunning silence. The kind where you can actually hear a gentle breeze and the soft chirp of crickets in the background. Finally Terri shrugged her shoulders meekly and replied, "Oops? My bad?"  
  
  
"Oh, bloody platypus in the middle of a crocodile feeding frenzy! I told you my sweet Viper, you have to keep the organs cold or they'll go bad! Great, now how am I going to fund my next adventure if I don't get paid for these deliveries? Great jumping joey, it's not like we're making any money off our Transgenic Hunter merchandise. Who wouldn't want a brown UPS delivery uniform with this cute little koala-like transgenic embroidered on it I have no idea." He said while holding up said costume. "Oh well, it's not your fault baby Red- Bellied Black Snake." He resigned and then smiled as if he came up with the most brilliant idea in the world. "Upside is I guess we have a whole lot of supper for the critters back home!" He turned to the camera excitedly and gave two thumbs up. "Too right!"   
  
  
Logan had just gotten his pants around his ankles (*shudders*) when the door he was seated under came crashing down on him... again. Max and Alec stepped out of the apartment, mouths seemingly permanently attached to one another, bodies grinding and hands roaming over one another unabashedly. Alec growled low in his throat as Max's hand wandered to the front of his pants and grabbed at the enormous bulge she found there. (Like it would be anything but enormous!) He picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist in a grip that would have squeezed the life out of an ordinary man. However, Alec was far from ordinary. Far, far, far from ordinary. When thinking of Alec the words incredibly stupendously perfect seemed much more appropriate. The pair stepped over the door, ignoring the muffled sounds and crunching of bone coming from underneath. Alec stopped to adjust his grip on Max's ass which resulted in them bouncing up and down heavily. Still ignoring the protests and moans coming from beneath them they made their way out of the apartment building.  
  
  
The Transgenic Hunter was just about to direct his team to a different sector when he saw them come tumbling out of the building, still obliviously lost in each other. And who could blame Max? If I had gotten my hands on that extraordinary piece of male, you'd have to put a bullet through my head, right between my eyes, twice and pry my cold dead fingers from him to get me off... anyways!   
  
  
"I can't believe it! It's incredible! That's the female X5 we tracked last week and it looks like she's finally found herself a mate. Yep, there's definitely a change in her demeanor as you can see. She's no longer aggressive and withdrawn and a lot more... vigorous! Notice the way her hips are bucking at her mate with her legs wrapped possessively around him, that's her way of letting him know that he's hers and she's his. And see the way his hands are working their way under her shirt, that's his way of affirming her. Crikey this is fanterrific! I hope your filming all this!" The Transgenic Hunter exclaimed as he once again began his pursuit, with his team of specialists following closely behind.  
  
  
The transgenics made their journey slowly. Stopping every few minutes to grope each other in the street until it finally became too much for either one and they headed down an empty alley way, clothes hitting the ground in the process. The Transgenic Hunter and his team followed behind creeping cautiously. It looked like a stampede of fiddler crabs during mating season as they mimicked the Transgenic Hunter's every step.  
  
  
"I hope your getting this mate!" The Transgenic Hunter exclaimed eagerly. The cameraman only nodded in response, too awestruck by what he was seeing to be able to form words. "Maybe you should try different angles." He instructed. "You know, to get the full effect. We wouldn't want to miss anything and I'll edit it later when I'm at home. In my private study. Alone. Or maybe with Terri." He indicated to his wife whose jaw was now firmly planted on the floor. Looking around he noticed that everybody had pretty much the same expression on their faces, along with a little drool and some of the soldiers had dropped their guns.  
  
  
A shrill beeping knocked everybody out of their stupor and the Transgenic Hunter pulled out a small tracking display. "Oh dear God!" He breathed. "Crikey mates, it's headed this way!" He yelled while ducking for cover.  
  
  
Logan paused at an alley way on his way back to his apartment when he heard a commotion. Being the incredibly perceptive savior of all those suffering extreme injustices he was, he headed into the alley to investigate. A small light flashed on his ear where a tag was attached with the letters OECG1 visible on the surface. He walked slowly, because really he wasn't capable of anything else, and looked around frantically for any signs of trouble.  
  
  
Alec came crashing backwards from the wall, falling flat on his back with Max miraculously still entwined with him. Not that he minded at all. Their entire relationship was based on Max inflicting bodily harm onto him and why should it be any different during sex? He was just masochistic that way. They both turned their heads in trauma at the all too seemingly familiar squeal. That was it. Alec had had enough of the OECG's constant interruptions so he gently eased Max to one side and stood in all his naked glory looking like a beautifully sculpted Adonis. (I had to throw that one in, you know I did!)  
  
  
The Transgenic Hunter began inching his way forward, dragging the reluctant cameraman, who I will now call Bob because it's easier that way, with him as he went. "The X5 is feeling threatened by the presence of the OECG and will protect his mate by any means necessary." He explained into the camera held by a terrified Bob. "See the way he's strutting in front of his mate, that's a display of dominance." Alec walked back and forth in front of Max, strutting his nudity unashamedly (like he had anything to be ashamed about!) and she smiled wickedly up at him, licking her lips. Turning back to Logan his posture changed again. "He's holding his head low now, shoulders higher than normal to accentuate his full height and his gaze steadily directed at the OECG with his eyes and mouth in a typical offensive threat while snarling. If he starts growling then a charge is imminent. This is an exhilarating thing to see up close folks!" The Transgenic Hunter exclaimed while shoving his face right into the camera, causing Bob to fall back in fear.  
  
  
As if on cue Alec let out a loud roar and charged toward Logan. Logan, who was paralyzed with fear stood absolutely still, perhaps praying that if he didn't move then he would disappear. Yeah right, good luck mate! Air aint dense enough to hide something as repulsive as that! Alec stopped suddenly and a look of absolute disgust crossed his face as his gaze fell toward the front of Logan's pants. Alec turned his head upwards and praised God or Buddha or Allah or whatever deity was up there for being able to stop in time before he collided into it. All eyes turned toward his distraction and then all bodies drew back aghast as they stared at the round wet patch seeping through and growing larger by the second until the entire front of Logan's pants and one of his pant legs was covered in the offensive fluid.  
  
  
Alec looked back eye level with Starfuc- ahh I mean the Old Electronicized Cyber Geek (Who did he think he was anyways? Robocop?) and growled one more time causing Logan to snap out of whatever state of shell shock he appeared to be in, run in the opposite direction and out of the alley, screeching like a tortured animal. Everybody now knew why Logan chose to be so lethargic in his movements. Logan running resembled Logan with an even fatter stick than usual jammed up his ass and his arms flailed like a gigantic fish out of water. Smelled like it too I might add! It was quite mortifying and everybody turned their heads so that they would not have to witness it any longer, but alas, the sight would remain imprinted in their memories for a long, long, long time to come. Some things you just can't forget whether you want to or not. Only when Logan's inarticulate wailing could no longer be heard, a good 49 minutes later, did anyone turn back around.  
  
  
Max, on her knees... again... flung herself at Alec and buried her face in his, ahem, well, let's just say there was no towel in the way of her prize this time! They got back to business pretty quickly. Quick enough to say that in the blink of an eye they were sprawled on the ground in a mass of sweaty limbs. Alec's display of smoldering masculinity was an incredible turn on for Max, well an even more turn on than he usually was just being himself which was conclusive to being on the brink of an orgasm before he even touched her.  
  
  
The Transgenic Hunter and his crew backed out of the alley slowly. "We better give them some privacy folks. Wouldn't want the male to mistake us as a threat too." They all stood around in front of the alley for a long time waiting and were on the brink of running back in for another perve when the Transgenic Hunter's head snapped forward with a blow that could only be considered as being caused by the force of a small sledge hammer making impact with the back of his head. Turning around absolutely mortified he expected to be confronted by a large Grizzly Bear toting said sledge hammer, and close enough, he came face to face with a seriously pissed off Original Cindy accompanied by a tall lanky white guy.  
  
  
"Fool, you seen my boo? Course you have, why else would you be in Alec's hood unless you stalking her again like yo own lil deranged version of Fatal Attraction?"  
  
  
The last question was obviously rhetorical so, in a world first, he kept his mouth shut and simply pointed into the alley. OC nodded her head, rolled up her sleeves and then stalked her way inside. She was a woman on a mission! Every confident step she took oozed determination. Damn, being this bad should be a crime!   
  
  
"Hey you're that dude from TV! The Transgenic Hunter!" Sketchy acknowledged in excitement. "Dude, I've seen like every episode of your show! You're like my idol man!" He flung himself at the Transgenic Hunter and wrapped him a giant hug. The Transgenic Hunter was obviously stricken by the sudden unexpected action and about a second later Sketchy was lying on the floor out cold, a tranquilizer dart sticking out of his ass.  
  
  
Cindy emerged from the alley dragging a partially dressed Max who was meowing and whining. "Boo don't even try. You aint been in heat fo' days now so don't front Original Cindy." Max pouted but didn't argue as she was body hauled away from Alec. "The sun boo, you remember what it looks like right? Well, damn girl you need some on that clammy thing you be callin skin. Not to mention you stood me up, again. We need to have a serious girl talk later. I mean, damn, I'm glad you gettin some but this is gettin-" Her rant was cut short as she took in the sight of Sketchy sprawled on the floor unconscious. She rolled her eyes and motioned to Alec who was buttoning up his pants behind them. He looked down and without being told, picked up his friend and flung him over his shoulder with insanely extreme ease.  
  
  
"You're such a big strong man." Max purred and he grinned cockily, adjusting his hold and causing his arm muscles to flex.   
  
  
"You aint seen nothin yet babe!" He replied while lifting Sketchy's body above his head and twirling him around and around until he finally settled on using just one hand, the other set firmly on his hip.  
  
  
"Wow, the male X5 is impressing his mate by showing his amazing strength!" The Transgenic Hunter shouted and everybody closed around Alec in a circle as he proceeded to toss his friend in the air and catch him again with his one arm over and over before alternating to his other arm and repeating the process, over and over.  
  
  
As Max attempted to lunge forward and devour him, OC intercepted and smacked her friend across the head. Max rubbed her head and grumbled as she walked back to where she was standing. "Stay celibate for almost a year after being brainwashed by a freaky Old Electronicized Cyber Geek and when you're finally getting some of the good stuff someone has to put salt in your game."  
  
  
OC shook her head and turned back to the Transgenic Hunter. "What the hell you doin fool?" OC asked furiously.  
  
  
"Hey he attacked me mate! Too right, I was just defending myself against a horrible attack!" The Transgenic Hunter explained while holding his arms in the air in surrender.   
  
  
OC looked heavenward as if asking 'Why me?' and turned back to pry her friends apart who had become attached to one another once again, Sketchy now laying in an undignified heap on the ground... again.  
  
  
"She may not be a transgenic," the Transgenic Hunter whispered to the camera conspiratorially, "but she's definitely got some panther in her or something. Maybe her mother mated with one! The girl has a right hook like a boxing kangaroo I tell ya, fair dinkum!"  
  
  
"Girl, we got to get you home and cleaned up. You aint been to work in days and Normal's gonna can yo ass if you don't show tomorrow so move it." OC commanded as she pushed her friend in the direction of their home. Alec attempted to follow but halted as OC bellowed, "And boy you better stay put or you'll end up in a world of hurt. And get Sketchy's ass off of the god damn floor and take him home or somethin. I'll put the smackdown on all yo asses if you even think of pullin somethin like this again."  
  
  
Alec looked down at Sketchy's body dejectedly before sighing, picking him up and taking him away... somewhere. Who can honestly say they care where?  
  
  
"Well, what can I say folks? This has certainly been one of the more interesting adventures I've ever been on and now it's time for me to go, but who knows mates, if I can get enough money together you might see me again next week! Until then, remember to always keep a look out for Old Electronicized Cyber Geeks and if you happen to come across one, don't approach it. Call the proper authorities and they'll take it back to where it belongs. Preferably a remote island somewhere away from civilization. Anyway, G'Day and goodbye!"  
  
  
Authors Note #4: Hehe, I was thinking that if I continue this I'm gonna have the Transgenic Hunter infiltrate Terminal City. Whaddya think? 


	3. Play or Fight?

Authors Note: Well, here I am again! And I brought with me the third chapter of this strange, strange story. I honestly don't know what I was thinking when I started writing this. Then again, I wasn't really thinking at the time. It was supposed to be a standalone but it's addictive, kinda like my drugs, and now I can't stop! Well, anyhooties, here I go again!  
  
  
Authors Note #2: I know I said I was thinking of going to Terminal City in this episode but then I thought, nup! Ha! Although it's definitely going to be in the next one, if anyone is still interested that is!  
  
  
Authors Note #3: Like I said in my last post, fuck your disclaimers! Ha! Sue me!  
  
  
  
Crikey! It's the Transgenic Hunter!  
  
  
  
Chapter 3  
  
  
  
"Sssssssssh!" The Transgenic Hunter hissed to a nervous Bob while peering through binoculars over a burned out car on the street. Bob seemed to be constantly on edge while in the presence of the Transgenic Hunter, probably due to the guys knack for attracting the weirdest fucking things he had never, ever imagined existed. "We have to be very quiet folks, they have incredible hearing and we wouldn't want to startle them."   
  
  
They had been tracking Max and Alec for the last couple of weeks hoping to get together some more exciting footage. For example, the footage in the alley had instigated an exceptional fluctuation in ratings, so exceptional it outdid the return of 'Survivor: South Central LA'- they were seriously running out of locations but then again there wasn't much difference between post-pulse South Central and the Amazon so, whatever, you get the point- and they were hoping to catch anything remotely as interesting. Right now they were crouched across the street of a park watching intently as Max, followed by OC and Sketchy, approached Alec who was sprawled under a tree. Max moaned softly and then fell on top of him hard, causing his whole body to jerk as he let out an "Oomph!"  
  
  
"As you can see, this is a typical X5 greeting ceremony. They will often lean on one another so hard that when one is lying, the other falls on top. X5's are very social creatures and display affection to one another openly, fair dinkum, just like they're doing now!" Max was lying completely on top of Alec and was rubbing her face against his in a very feline way while purring low in her throat. "X5 children more often rub against adults, and females rub against males- the direction being from weaker to stronger. Male and female partners lying in contact is characteristic, another sign of close social bonds. Let's get a closer look!" He announced excitedly and then fell on his stomach on the ground and began dragging himself across the street. Cars beeped and skidded to a halt as the maniac slowly made his way over the busy road, looking a lot like Logan after one of his many season one falls from his wheelchair (*shudders to the point of looking like I'm having an epileptic fit*).  
  
  
Once the duo got to the park they hid behind a shrub about the size of a basketball, blending in amazingly against the little green bush. They sat there watching the group and listening with rapt attention to every eloquent word being spoken.  
  
  
"Uh uh. No way wigga. The best set of pre-pulse jugs definitely were attached to Angelina Jolie. Not to mention one fine booty, legs that go on forever, lips I'd like to have wrapped around my..." Original Cindy trailed off to stare absently into space before turning her attention back to Sketchy who had the same look as he stared at her...  
  
  
"Owwww!" Yelled Sketchy as he was backhanded by OC across the head.  
  
  
"Eyes up fool!"  
  
  
"You know OC, have you ever considered anger management classes? It might work wonders on that attitu- XENA WARRIOR PRINCESS!" He exclaimed while holding his hands up against OC's next blow. Cindy's hand stopped midair and she raised an expectant eyebrow so he continued. "Great jugs, great legs, and definitely a great ass."  
  
  
OC smiled as her mind wandered to the poster hanging above her bed. "Got that right suga. There's just somethin about a girl that wears breast plates and carries a sword that makes ya wanna get yo groove on." They both sighed longingly at the mental image.  
  
  
"Wow!" The Transgenic Hunter shouted as he got to his feet and pointed to Max and Alec, causing OC and Sketchy to abandon their fantasies as they gawked openly at the return of Bob and the psychopath. "The female is grooming her mate!" Max was straddling Alec now, licking his face and neck in long lingering strokes. "Look at that mates! See the incredible attention she pays to each part of his skin before moving on? I've heard of X5's doing this but seeing it and hearing about it are two very different things, and I'll tell ya what, seeing it's way more satisfying! Look at that tongue work!"  
  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!" Alec let out a very MANLY scream as Max sunk her teeth into his neck. Being the incredible gentleman he was, he attempted to pry Max's fangs away by pulling her hair and shrugging her off but it was no use and only made her chomp down harder. Damn, the bitch could bite!  
  
  
"Crikey, she's marking her mate!" The Transgenic Hunter shrieked while skipping toward the scene with glee. He added in some twirls and pirouettes for dramatic effect. Maybe the city fumes were getting to him because he sure was acting weird. Well, weirder than usual which speaks for itself.  
  
  
Alec stood up which made Max wrap her arms around his neck for leverage and also to keep him from escaping her mighty grasp. The two continued to struggle with each other as Alec ran around frantically, knocking her into tree trunks, poles, anything that might dislodge her. He even tried drowning her in a pond but the curse of her genetics allowed her the lung capacity of a humpback whale. It was no use. The girl had a jaw like a saltwater croc. (Oh god! I just realised something utterly disturbing! I'm starting to sound like Steve Irwin! *Runs to the shower and begins scrubbing furiously while screaming 'Get out of me! Get the hell outta me! I'm possessed! Aaaaaah! I'm possessed!'*)  
  
  
Back to the story...   
  
  
Alec decided to try to fight fire with fire so he turned his head and bit down onto her arm with all his might. It got the desired effect and Max let go with a yelp. He took the opportunity to throw her a good fifteen feet away where she landed gracefully on her ass.  
  
  
OC stood up staring wide eyed at her two friends as Sketchy stood and grinned stupidly at the Transgenic Hunter.  
  
  
Max got to her feet and gave a satisfied smile as she looked at the set of tooth marks she had left on Alec's neck. She then looked down at her arm and her grin grew wider. With a catlike screech she launched herself in Alec's direction. He was fully prepared for the sudden assault and took her down with him. They rolled around on the grass for long minutes, each trying to gain the upper hand, ignoring OC's shouts and protests.   
  
  
"With transgenics it's not always possible to distinguish between playing and fighting but it's quite obvious from what we're seeing now that this is simply some friendly fun! Too right, they're loving every second of this gentle sparring!" The Transgenic Hunter explained to the camera as Max cried out after being on the receiving end of a knee to the head.  
  
  
Eventually their wrestling took them to a steep hill and the last thing anyone saw was two stunned faces before they went tumbling down it in a mass of joined, flailing limbs. Original Cindy took off after them and just as the Transgenic Hunter was poised to follow, Sketchy blocked his path, got down on one knee and began singing a rendition of 'The Wind Beneath My Wings', completely, utterly, ear piercingly out of tune.  
  
  
"Did you ever know that you're my heeeeeerooooooooo?! You're everything I wish I could beeeeeee! I can fly higher than an eeeeeeeeeeeagle, cause you are the wind beneath my wings!!"  
  
  
The Transgenic Hunter looked on in terror and as Sketchy got to the whole "Flyyyyyy, flyyyyyyyyy, flyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" part the Transgenic Hunter produced a tranquilizer gun and aimed...  
  
  
"So high against the sky, you let me fly so hiiiiiigh! Thank you, thank you, thank god for you, the wind beneath my-" Sketchy fell to the floor with a thud and the Transgenic Hunter side stepped his scrawny body and continued his pursuit down the hill. Bob remained behind and stared at Sketchy's unmoving form. He gave him a small kick, shrugged and then took off after the maniac.  
  
  
When they got to the bottom they found Max and Alec being dragged by their ears by Original Cindy who looked maniacal with rage. "Ya know kidz, Original Cindy is gettin real tired of playin mommy to you two so I suggest ya save ya kinky foreplay fo when I aint around to hafta witness it. Damn, there's only so much my eyes can take."  
  
  
"Yeah Alec." Max chided. "God you're so immature."  
  
  
"What?" Alec asked incredulously. "Me? You're the one that can't keep your hands off me for more than a minute."  
  
  
"Can too."  
  
  
"Can not."  
  
  
"Can too!"  
  
  
"Can not!"  
  
  
"CAN TOO!" Max yelled as she surged toward Alec with rage.  
  
  
"See, what'd I tell ya!" Alec cried triumphantly as he tussled with Max.  
  
  
"That's it!" OC proclaimed. "Time to bring out the big guns." She said as she reached into her pocket and pulled out two toy mice dangling from string. Max and Alec stopped immediately, their attention focused solely on the prizes in their friend's hands. "That's right kitty kats, you want 'em?" She asked the two transgenics as they slowly slid apart, their eyes stalking the every move of the two balls of fluff as OC slid them along the ground. "Come get 'em!" She cried and threw them in opposite directions. The two took off after them, Alec catching his between his teeth midair while Max pounced on hers once it hit the ground. They held them protectively and gazed at one another untrustingly before throwing them down and pouncing on them once again.  
  
  
OC stood back and watched in satisfaction.  
  
  
"Hey, what's going on?" A prissy voice asked out of no where.  
  
  
OC turned around and was confronted by the frustratingly irritating sight of Asha dressed in a Wonder Woman costume. (What can I say, I'm expanding on the black list I have of people I would like to have maimed and shot.) OC eyed the costume in appreciation for several long moments before remembering that Asha had asked her a question and was waiting for a response. "Oh, Max and her boy needed some time out of the house so I brought them to the park to play." She said as her eyes continued to roam over the expanse of the outfit. Asha noticed and propped out one hip while flipping her hair back in a devastatingly bad imitation of Charlie's Angels. "Suga, I gotta ask, wassup wit the costume?"  
  
  
"Oh, well, you see Cindy, I've noticed that my attempt to be a world class super hero by joining the S1W and helping out Eyes Only hasn't been taken all that seriously, so I figured if I dress like one than that might make me more noticeable as an amazingly cool crime fighting chick. What do you think?"  
  
  
"Wonder Woman's aiight but have you considered breast plates and a sword?"  
  
  
Several days later...  
  
  
The Transgenic Hunter plowed his UPS truck through the streets of Seattle, ignoring the crashing of cars and the flying of bodies as he tried to keep up with the black Ninja he was following. Bob sat next to him in fear as he tried to hold onto whatever he could to stop himself from being propelled out the front windshield. The Transgenic Hunter giggled next to him and spun the wheel in an attempt to keep up with his prey. Bob closed his eyes and started praying. He was jerked out his state as the trucked skidded to a stop outside of a fenced off area with a large sign that read 'Terminal City'.  
  
  
Author's Note #4: To be continued... if you want it! Review and tell me! 


End file.
